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Part of the reddit group - one person - said it correctly "he's just not into you after getting to know you more."
The fucking kids across the street are walking their fucking cat named peanut butter while Orangie lays on the couch having not eaten in two days.
Was she ever anything besides a fucking fawner? She had gotten Wordle today in three tries and felt like telling him, but grow the fuck up you fucking fool - he likes you ONLY because you treat him like the best person you've ever met in your life. You degrade yourself because you allow him to fuck you without ever even looking at you. He's never even accurately touched your clit.
"so, what happened? it seemed like he was talking and social at Christmas? what went wrong?"
Narcissi was naked underneath the 2XL t-shirt.
"oh, I texted him 'I'm just a placeholder' and he acknowledged that was true by his usual way of treating anything I say that's not light - by ignoring it. It made me realize in about two torture-filled days that I was living in a delusion and yet again taking scraps."
Her aunt longed to reach out to this niece who ached so much and so long and carried so much, but all she could do was ask "So, it's over?"
"Oh, I could still be the same. I could never press him on anything. I could fuck him for the both of us. I could make biscuits until I'm a fucking craftsperson. I could talk about movies and .... you know the hardest thing?"
"what honey?"
"I was waiting. I was waiting for him to be in this with me - so that we could kind of dance, but I was always on sufferance. I was - there was only two months where he really pursued me. Once I was caught, he seemed done. such a tired cliche."
Narcissi's head hurt. The little girl across the street was wearing her big furry vividly red boots. Narcissi might mock them, but it was only because she hated herself right now. The house was a trashed mess with Chinese take-out. She longed to say something honest to him.
"this isn't going anywhere because you don't trust me."
The buzzards in her neighborhood were out in full force. It was a gorgeous Boxing Day.
She knew he liked her enough to spend time with her. She suspected it was because the pickings were fucking slim. Maybe he wouldn't show up. Maybe he would change his mind about whetting his ego.
The only thing she knew for god certain was that she ....
she didn't know shit.
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