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spoiler alert.
she had been weeping for
millenia
saying out loud to any atom
how sorry she was to exist.
how sorry she was to ... all of it drama or whatever... and how beautiful it had been
how green..
what a question.
she was on shrooms.
she was in macon.
she was so faucking glinted shitty fucking ass stupid drama queen sad.
"IS IT TRU WHAT U SANG ABOUT IN YOUR SONG"
tonight you will understand the wonder.
she was coming off of first glimmer and last glimmer and nothing for her but a bit of
manna from heaven
someone to talk to her that understood her fucked
fucked
fucke
d
up mind
she remembered the man who introduced them
her first love.
now she was self-named expensively after a fist
a faust
fuck it
the music played
it was van morrison
in her 20 year old head, she was always aspirational listening to it with chuck and friends on a screened porch in Florida
things
changed
so hard
and it was better than
what it had been
the desert
without Christmas
he hadn't come
she pretended she was
alive
"last night I dreamt that somebody loved me...."
and oh god as she's weeping and grasping and apologizing and crawling and gasping... and guilty for not being part of anything but so desperately wanting to
dance in
the old church
in Athens
with her major love and best friend and talk and
laugh and
fucking live
instead, she's back in a town she sort of likes alone and confused and never ever ever ever ever ....
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