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Empty Threats



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post #142
bio: elanamatic
perma-link
1/6/2005
15:24

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01.06.05

Dear Mr. Hand -

If you send the dude one more e-mail detailing my daytime activities, I promise to track down your woman and give her daily updates on your chosen wardrobe. Not only that but I will find discreet ways to snap a shot of your occasional Marcus Aurelius hairdo and mail it to her with a big bow.

When I am done with completely humiliating you in these most shallow ways, I will proceed to stock up on Terry's Chocolate Oranges and selfishly eat one piece a day until I am all but drooling with orangeychocolateyness. I will insist on leaving both empty wrappers and remaining chocolates in full view of your desk. I will offer plenty to our fellow co-workers, but you friend, will have none of it.

xox

me.

ps. oh and to think i selflessly gave up my beloved Celine Dion fleece for your favourite future-mother-in-law.


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