EndTimeWorks: #
September 11th seemed to have wiped pop culture away. For months, the commercial landscapes were barren or quietly patriotic . Then, with little fanfare, one particular marketing icon stealthily embedded itself in the American Zeitgeist. Most know him as the Dell Computer Kid, a quasi-California rip-off of Alex Winter (Bill, from Bill and Ted.)
It makes little sense, culture never does, but that guy seems to have been referenced in every late night monologue, every neo-Mclaughlin Group standoff and by nearly every American with a habit of conversationally inserting celebrities into situations where they don't belong. Honestly, it's been torture for me to avoid mentioning him on the website. He's the most available comedic reference since Ernest Borgnine.
Once again, I won't bother researching who he is, or whether or not there have been articles or interviews.
But I am curious as to why that guy was able to break into the tightest circle of trivial awareness. He made it farther than the Encyclopedia Britannica kid from the early nineties, which can probably be attributed to more expensive time slots. Though as nostalgia will go, "Dude you're gettin' a Dell" will be far less impressive than "I always wondered where my mandibula was."
But we have to remember that Americans were far more freaked out this past year than during any phase of Operation Desert Storm. Apparently there was something about a dumb surfer kid, the cliché of which was fascinating and comforting to many Americans. It was just so uninspired and uninteresting that we stopped for a moment to wonder if we were missing something. Then we realized we were missing nothing. Then we realized that there was a DELL COMPUTER KID! We had our first post-11th Clara Peller or Messy Marvin. We had a stupid dude, a STUPID DUDE! The antithesis of John Ashcroft warning of imminent explosions, or Bon Jovi wearing American flag pants. The commercials had aired for months before September, and the kid hadn't changed. He wasn't lamenting the demise of the old world, he was still convincing his friends' parents to buy stupid computers. He was an invincible pop cultural Adam for the "new world," destined for Trivial Pursuitdom, to join such prestigious "pink wedge" answers as Sonya Henny and OJ Simpson.
When Time was considering alternates for Man of the Year, you can rest assured the Dell kid was mentioned, in jest, but subsequently given a few seconds of earnest contemplation.
He has also blazed a trail for such newcomers as Andrew WK, and the breakdancing Mitsubishi girl. But they are both currently on, and will remain on, the B list. The Dell kid is forever.
An editorial like this may seem like a corporate ass kiss
but, trust me, I don't care enough about computers to be affiliated with Dell.
In fact, I hate computers.
Don't buy one.
Save your money for a hybrid car.
Then, for Christ's sake, don't buy a hybrid car!
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