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Klutch.xls: "I Can't Even Save Myself!"
Perhaps you have been involved in or heard this conversation at the water cooler:
Bob: Sniper.
Jim: Sniper sniper. Sniper.
Julia: Sniper?
Jim: Sniper. Sniper sniper, SNIPER!
(laughter)
O.K. sure I am in Boston, don't go to strip malls and rarely fill my car's gas tank, but aren't we all a little bit scared? Doesn't this just seem too easy? Couldn't this be you if they, say, took your internet away at work? Thought so. So I thought I could find some tips on the web and found this:
Sniper Experts Give Safety Tips
No need to read the story, but here is a quote from one of the experts:
"Dark, out-of-the-way spots may be the safest places for people to buy groceries or pump gas."
Well, I am no expert (unless we're talking about G.L.O.W.:the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling) but my co-workers and I have come up with some tips of our own.
1. Park in un-lit / remote parking lots
2. Biking? Exercising? DON'T LET THE SNIPER SEE YOU! Wear un-reflective clothing and take the lights/reflectors off your bike. They make you look like a dork.
3. While "filling up" hold your child above your head. I got three words for you kids: BABIES STOP BULLETS!
4. Never leave your house. You probably don't anyway.
5. Those people on the reality television shows you watch are not your friends. They are little people who live inside your T.V.
6. On your walk home from work, try to use alleys and other dark passage ways.
7. Choose ATM's in dark urban neighborhoods.
8. When all else fails, do what Bill O'Reilly tells you to do.
Hope this helps. Maybe next week we can get back to normal at the ol' water cooler and rehash the previous night's Ally McBeal episode.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO MORE ALLY McBEAL!?!?!?!?!?!
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