2001:June:26
2001
Guess how evil I am? Although thinking and doing are three different things, I just had the most arrogant revenge fantasy. You know how there's some ex-friend that I had (the one that was rude to my husband in such a way that it saved me years of time getting to know that personally unacceptable side of her "naturally")? Weeeeeelllll, she has a best friend that I actually really like but with whom I don't really expend any effort nurturing a friendship. I know that this former friend is very jealous because she once pulled some strange emotional jealousy thing when the best friend and I went out accidentally without her (and I'm not being sarcastic. It really was a complete accident.) I had this thought about what if I stepped up the nurturing process of the best friend. Wouldn't that be a passive AGGRESSIVE move towards the person I really feel disappointed me? But, it's just a thought. I must admit, however, old Kristen (the one who was desperate for friendship and lashed out at any imperfection in candidates and who hadn't snagged THE soulmate) would have tried to do it (and probably would have failed). New Kristen is already choosing the words for the eventual honest confrontation. I'm having trouble with the words because they all sound so harsh unmodified by adjectives. Could I say, "In addition to your good qualities of sharp wit, loyalty to your husband, beauty, storehouse of decorative information....I find you just a touch hypocritical, slightly condescending, a bit of a cruel monster, a smidgen shallow, totally lacking in self-irony..."?
