2001:August:10
2001


I suppose I could be more sleepy, more anti-social, more blah, but why bother? It's been nothing but eating in and watching tv for me for the past week. I'm not ready for people. Even when Kent came by the other night, I felt like scurrying into a hole. I'm just tired of most people. Now you know why I haven't written much. It just doesn't sound interesting to me what I write - and there you are.

My search to adopt Buddhist tenets has been a bit frustrating. The books don't answer my EXACT questions such as... To an enlightened person, is there no way to even get traumatized by rape and attack? Do you just consider the attacker one of the other - albeit lost- inhabitants on our ship of fools? If I'm not 100% excellent at paying my credit card debts, does that f- me? Might I just as well burn any chance I have of being enlightened in this or several subsequent lifetimes? Those are the only questions I have so far. I'll just keep living my lil' life though and strive to do what I can.

So yeah. I'm going camping this week. I will be forced to be social with people that I knew very well about eight years ago (except for one girl who has a girlfriend role). Yeah, I'm scared out of my gourd, but we'll see. It might be interesting. It's to be a Radiohead concert in a national park. Mark and I sort of knew what we wanted to do and did it. As group activities do, the others confusedly followed our inadvertent leadership.

I'm lethargic to say the least today.





«« (back) (forward) »»
Untitled Untitled



words from Kristen


Also, as seen on Solstice