2001:September:9
2001
[Editor's Note: This is the only entry I have EVER edited three times. I just wanted to add that I think it is hilarious that I wrote "hear" instead of "here" down below. I also came back to demark the seperate edits. BTW, I'm still listening to TA "BFCH", and it's still AMAZING). So here it all was....]
I CAN make a very true promise to you: I try very hard to be all-inclusive of my version of "truth" that I write hear (in fact, i'll even tell you this, I enjoy using semi-colons because my ninth grade grammar teacher ingrained in me that they meant "pay attention to what follows" and the typing teacher ingraining "type two spaces after semi-colons). Anyhoo, that said, I edited this after I wrote it and posted it the first time (and I guess I'll have to admit now - THUS making this even fucking longer- that I also erased an entire entry that I had initially posted). [So here is where the story begins... It starts like I had it except for the edit, right here:]
It's all about mich, mich, mich:
- I truly LOVE Buddhism. It is such a resonant truth to me. It truly is dhamma. [I shouldn't twice anymore. Tooo confusing. Anyway, below this is the first pure, confusing, stream of counscious babble I wrote first:]
- I love Tori Amos. If you are a woman (and you would have to be) and can understand loving the science fiction television show FarScape (based on years of watching Dr. Who, Star Trek, and that one with the pyramids, and reading Sci Fi and harlequin romances) and feeling beyond a shadow of a doubt that their is no greater heavan in listening to Tori Amos' "Boys from the Choirgirl Hostel" (and knowing the reason that why that upside down v over words is used in French - and why it explains why I wrote "hostel) whilst in a home that is so aesthetically pleasing to me I EXUDE bliss while being a bit high is paradise... So, (read fastly) if you are a woman who loves all these things and loves tha that is why life exists is to write these things to "other people" when really it is all to yourself but with a faint hope of CONNECTION... so if you are a woman who can do all this and listen to the first song on TA-BFCH, and think it is all about you YOU living in london away from your southern family, being an artist with encanry, erie acclaim and praise when doing what she REALLY WANTS TO DO IN SECRET HEART soooooo this song is about how every thing in your fiber is a song to the women in your life and how they made you and how life is all a progression and this is what we've progressed to .... such a pretty song about being such a (I've had to rewind the song three times whilst writing this) lonely woman when you hold contempt for all women you meet and how they won't let go of the wheel...how bizarre it is that you love and hang out with men more than women...prefer men to women .... this should be ridiculous. (good god, this must sound like some damn Jane Keroack to you - sorry). Anyway, I really think if there was a person who totally understood the sentiment of that previous dirge, they would be my soulmate. Such a person would probably be a man in this life. (I'll give you a hint for those who want to solve the "Riddle Of The Kristen", the hard part to me - as a guess - would be reading it with the right timing on emphasis).
- This is ssoooooooooo funny to me that I've written that above bullet point. All I can do for explanation is that the first "rush" of pot is sooo intense (and SUCH a fun place to be I must say - sort of like the first blush of attraction). Anyway, I love this funny thing of decorating. I am beyond words about the joy of my house aesthetically. My aunt and mother and sister all came up, and it was soooooo affecting this time instead of being a total waste of time. Anyway, they gave me this mirror that my BELOVED grandmother had and my mother took me shopping and insisted I buy things. So, now my house is so subtly more amazing (kind of like that time in HGTV's decorator's Challenge show when the french design team put these orange cubes in a room and the DIFFERENCE between before and after was between genius and real genius). I always have had a thing -obviously as expressed in a yearning for those idealized fifties values and simplicity - ah to be a woman without children - to be a glass girl all growsed up - for forties and fifties modern. I love also the old lady houses of the forties and fifties. I LOVE them. So, now because of the gift of the mirror coupled with the previously-awkward-looking 50's colored photographs of my aunt and mother as girls in that gilt on the frame that is ONLY from the fifities and sixties. I've just done this new arrangement last night, and you can't believe how many times I've felt like the third in the trilogy.... the uglier, but beautiful at times still, third of the trilogy, but the third. It's reminded me of my grandmother, mother (and minorly my aunt), and me. It's been great to smoke pot and wear my clothes in a way I could never BE around them (not to mention the impossibility of us all being the same-ish age-ish)... well not to mention the mirror itself is huge, clear, and old and beautiful. Oh it's fun.
- I was also thinking how fun it would be to impose on you by telling you the things I like.:
I love tori amos, the replacements,radiohead, bjork , dolly parton, u2, the wedding present, nirvanah, paul westerburg, tricky the cosmonaut (although this may be for sentimental connotations as I STILL don't know if a stranger would like them just HEARING them since none of you wrote to ask me for a copy of the CD probably), forties big band, and torch singers, (I used to say REM but honestly based on their recent performance they just aren't on my good list right now. they are like george lucas now), and Sinead O'Connor, THE SMITHS, Dinosaur Jr., the Rolling Stones, the later Beatles, the Earlier Beatles, Talking Heads, them Police, Billie Holliday, Jonathon Richmond, etc. (and in that order).
- I'll tell you about movies and ideas later as I'm rambling tooooo much already.... but shortly: Farscape, Red, Naked, Dead Man, LA Story, Dazed and Confused, The Women, Unbelievable Truth, Star Wars, Hope and Glory, The Thin Man (after reading that book that I recommeded in TBR about the pre-code women), The Empire Strikes Back, Star Trek, Dr. Who, Star trek Next Generation, Midsummer's Night Dream (K. Branaugh), The Trouble with Harry, Holiday Inn, etc.
