2001:October:11
2001
(Right now, I'm highly enjoying #8, but I'll go back to four later in the writing.)
The magic seems to have been Briggadoonish, but Kristen Martin (face it, that's my dumb boring name with all the connations of patriligne) has had a small satori. I don't know what it was, but I had the most amazing, universal, absolute, inclusive of all of you love of myself I've ever imagined. It all adds up, I'm in love with myself to a bizarre degree. And I'm in love with Tori Amos even more because she relates me to the world through herself singing her music (and its reaction on me). (Oh this is such a good part of the song.....)
OK, now, I'll skip to track four now that eight is over. Anyway, ahhhhhh it was evening. I was wearing my new york black sleevless 2dye4 shirt and walking down this beautiful world being young and high and LISTENING TO TORI AMOS. (I am "saying" this in a total ALL EXCLAIMATION MARKS but wondering way!!!!!!!!!!!!)
By way of explanation: I hated - fucking hated- tori amos' last album (although I do like some songs on it a little). I guess what I'm saying is that her last album didn't tell the truth at all. It was like Detlef and Tricky the Cosmonaut....she had lost it...and although I was grateful that she recorded what she did, I was a bit discouraged that no one writes REALLY REALLY AMAZING music past the ten years of utter fame mark. The fame sucks the life from most of them. Anyway, I had given up a bit on Tori, but was still hopefull. THEN, I just recently watched her on David letterman, and she covered a tom waits song (Time time time) and SUCKED. It was like she was just technically singing the words, and THE SECRET REVEALED OF WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MUSCICIANS is when you can HEAR that they FEEL that they are telling their TRUTH - something so personal that they've NEVER told anyone but you (oh this great line "and the pain remains"....). Anyhoo, on DL, Tori didn't deliver...just like on her last album: no TRUTH just good music.
So, I had given up on her. Mark my LOVE bought me her latest crazy lookin album for my "Fall Break" present. I decided to give her a chance, and took the pot and listened to her on my headphones in my back yard... OH MY. It was TRUTH. I couldn't even digest it in one listen. I mean I'm still in the stage of loving it where I'm listening to #4 for my SEVENTH time today.
So, I'm listening to track FOUR and walking down Front Street at dusk. The mansions, the wind, the temperature, the sunset, the river, were perfect. I did double takes at fall leaves. I mean BEAUTIFUL. (In my opinion, The songs work by singing a duet with the past and the singer and CREATING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL sound. It resonates with my energy.) AND so I'm walking. This pained , stooped, confused SHORT elderly woman in a matching skirt and jacket with leather purse (vintage of course) walks by. I'm having such a moment that I'm in the realm of being taught FUNDAMENTAL lessons by the energy in the universe (I'm telling you, it was the most satori I've ever been. At least it's what I could think satori could be)...she walks by, and I feel torn weather to embarrass her and ask her if she's lost (she didn't respond very well to my passing "hi")....I did a catholic genuflection and FELT a connection to the energy - i.e. FELT A PRAYER - AKA - I "said" a prayer for her. I teared up after this. The song's mantra (number four) fit sooooooo well.
I think it's my version of what bhuddhism is to me...or could be.
FARSCAPE TIME!!!!
