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The Medium Pimp's Mom Effect

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post #71
bio: raquel
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9/24/2003
14:35

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Yesterday my mom got a colonoscopy.

She said it wasn't bad. No really.

Here is a list of things she consumed the day prior (in order of color):

Orange juice
Yellow jello
Chicken broth
Green jello
Nasty Radioactive Milkshake (which is actually not radioactive but a liquid bowel stimulant designed to make you stay up all night. Now that's hot.)

According to mom, drinking this last item was the least pleasant part of the experience. Which was a surprise, because I would imagine that the camcorder up your bum would be a tad bothersome. Especially since they found a polyp up in there and snagged that sucker. But apparently she was sedated for the duration of it and today she's out running around, doin' her thing at The Mall. She did add that if she hadn't been sedated there's no way she would have done it in the first place. I secretly suspect that this is what got her through childbirth as well, as she claims it felt "just like a bad stomachache". Yeah, right. I just saw Toni Braxton have a c-section on VH-1 and that didn't look like no bad stomachache to me!

But back to ye olde colonoscopy, do you guys remember when Katie Couric had one on the TV? Straight from the office of old news: her choice to televise live from the ass-cam back in 2000 brought about an 20% increase in colonoscopies round the country for the following year now known as "the Katie Couric effect". This is fantastic on so many levels. I mean that's a lot of lives she helped to save right there. But also, having your name attached to a phenomenon inspiring people to subject themselves to an ass exploration. I mean there is something almost poetic about that. I'm gonna hold off on the haiku for now though.

Haven't had enough colon yet?
Check your insides out on-line!! Kudos to friendster David for the timely discovery of this link - may your name always be synonymous with - er - let's let katie corner the market on that one. The aliteration is much better.

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