i went to a reading by one of my favorite authors this past weekend. i hadn't seen her in about five years and was eager to hear what she'd been up to. i always loved her sweet, honest writing and at the last reading (at the union square barnes and noble) she was so gracious and demure. imagine my surprise when she walked in and - among other things - she "got skinny". you know things aren't good when your gal starts getting hollywood/prada skinny. she also mentioned that she was seeing someone in las vegas and i SWEAR she said it was penn from penn and tellar. plus, she said she's moving to nyc to be closer to her agent, editor and because you can get diet coke, newports and mcdonald's delivered. hurmph. basically, i felt like i was going to see an old friend and the friend turned into angelina jolie and was acting like she didn't know me anymore. i was a little sad.
that same day, as i drove to campus for the reading, i saw this girl jogging and she was wearing teenie cotton shorts with words on the butt. you know. you've seen them. i almost drove into oncoming traffic trying to read what her butt said. i am disappointed to report that all it said was "salt lake city". you'd think it would've been a fairly large bottom to fit "salt lake city" on it but it was pretty small.
finally, i am pondering sending my resume to a company advertising in the paper for an assistant that has the responsibility of transporting clients both living and deceased. six feet under, anyone?