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fun with cleaning products american idol: a conspiracy



Friday, July 25, 2003
navel lint: Hi. I'm Beth's Sciatic Nerve.

That Beth chick. What a rube. About 3 years ago, one of her lumbar disks and I decided to just mess with her some. So the disk decided to rupture and, therefore, pinch me, causing Beth's left leg to go numb and causing her excruciating pain. It was so funny!

She had a job with great benefits at the time, so she got surgery. Then Dick the Disk and I got bored. So 10 months ago, Dick and I decided to rupture again. We didn't take it quite as far this time (we're getting complacent in our old age), but we messed things up for Beth well enough. We made her stay home last New Year's Eve. We've made her miss lots of parties. We make her miss work often. And just last night, we took advantage of her drunk ass. We told her brain to make her trip over absolutely nothing and stumble. And that's all it takes for us to go nuts. She almost fainted! That's how much pain we shot her ass with. Ha! Big fun!

She was just able to grab an errant friend who carted her home. She didn't even get to say bye to the Happyrobots she was having fun with. Heh. Took her breath away, we did.

She wants this surgery, but unless she gets a sugar daddy, wins the lottery, gets a fat raise, or gets a job with benefits, that surgery ain't happening. None of these things are looming in the foreseeable future, so we anticipate having lots of pain-inducing fun with Beth for some time. Wheeeee!





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fun with cleaning products american idol: a conspiracy




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