Monday, August 11, 2003
American Idol: A Conspiracy
Surely, it is a plot by the gay hairdressers of America, this American Idol madness. I mean, look at Clay Aiken's hair. No straight man could be involved in that. I think the gay hairdressers of America are planning some sort of fabulous coup and it's about time. I do believe that if I hear the name "Clay Aiken" one more time I'm going to projectile vomit, but considering this is the first coup the GHA have organized, you can't expect perfection. Their overkill in this go-round can be attributed to inexperience. I have complete faith that future GHA uprisings will be thought out a bit better and will be wonderfully successful.
I just want to know the purpose of the current coup. Is it to encourage people to have their hair professionally styled, like Clay does? Is it to encourage people to listen to more musicals, considering that that is precisely what Clay's voice is best suited for? Is it to promote the goodness of androgony, considering Clay has a bit of the masculine and the feminine about him? Or maybe they are trying to stop the reality TV juggernaut by making everyone so sick of hearing about it that they just stop watching!