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In Heaven, There Are No Pretty People

My favorite part of the Bible is The Beatitudes. The idea that the "meek shall inherit the earth" will resound harshly in this post.

I once heard a woman lamenting that Catherine Zeta Jones was doing cell phone commercials. "She's so beautiful," they moaned. What am I missing? Since when is a beauty a virtue? It's not (even if you put a lot of work into it - that just means you have a skewed value system). Since when does it qualify you for anything better than pitchwoman?

Also frustrating was the movie "Closer" (sorry Kristen). There are so many people who are truly lonely, overweight, acne-y, middle-aged, shy, intelligent, awkward, alcoholic, closeted, living with their sick mother - am I supposed to relate with Jude Law's (and Julia Roberts') predicament of "which of two beautiful, successful people should I screw over out of sheer boredom and indecision? If this story mirrors your own experiences (and it does mine), then we all need to focus on our own dignity, quick!before its too late.

I'm very dogmatic about this - irrationally so. I have no patience for pretty people. My take is: they don't need me and vice versa. Give me the misfits and rogues. Bring me your huddled masses. Take me to the Walmart and barrio and McDonalds and the public library. Spare me the neurosis over cocktails. Spare me the agony over which career would best suit your remarkable talents, education, and charming personality.

I know, I know. I'm lucky. I want worldly success and I want people to think that I'm attractive. I'm fortunate enough to pass as handsome with little or no work on my part. I also function with an intelligent light in my eye. I am not shy or awkward or oppressed in any way. The cost of these material blessings, however, may be eternal damnation. Its in the Bible. Look it up.

However, like Moses, perhaps I can lead my tribe of misfits and meek ones over the desert of Academy award runway shows and cellphone commercials and US Weekly and to a promised land, where I will be banished for my talents and beauty. Rightfully so. Life is hard and God is harder.





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post #169
bio: blaine
perma-link
3/14/2005
13:06

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