A Recreational Dose
But so and I'm working my way through Infinite Jest again as part of Infinite Summer, and I can't help but think about addiction, since, of course, that's more or less what all 1,000+ pages of the book are about. And of course addiction is something that a guy with the sobriquet "Post-Modern Drunkard" should at least consider here or there, from time to time.
Plus of course I take a pharmacy's worth of pharmaceuticals these days, a number of them allegedly habit forming, Xanax and Ambien among them. The big guns, though, are the narcotics. Over the last year I've gone from
- Advil to
- Tylenol-3 to
- Vicodin to
- Morphine injections to
- Morphine drip to
- a 72-hour Fentanyl patch placed over my heart to
- Percoset to
- Oxycontin (both Slow Release and Immediate Relief, at the same time) and then finally back to
- Vicodin, with whom I'm hanging out for awhile.
I've taken a lot of these drugs, and I've taken them regularly, and I have to say that in a year's worth of using, I haven't had any fun on these drugs. I tell people what I'm taking, and I see their eyes light up, and I'm weirdly jealous of their jealousy.
I take these drugs, and they help with the pain, and I have no desire to abuse them. I know that's an unalloyed good thing, make no mistake. I am not mourning that I'd make a shitty drug addict. It's just the look in their eyes tells me that they have really enjoyed these things, and I do not have nearly enough things I really enjoy, these days.
It would, in a ways, be nice if I could literally had a presciption to be happy.
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