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post #151
bio: rich
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8/5/2002
00:44

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Dana Carvey + Sunburn

Poor Dana Carvey
My friend Eric (S, not W or B) sent out a collection of reviews from Dana Carvey's new movie the other day.
(actually Dana Carvey's 'new' movie seems wrong - I mean, when was his last movie?)
Eric was pointing out that this movie is apparently so bad that critics are just letting loose with the sarcasm and insults.
MetaCritic has all the reviews, which include these...
Boston Globe / Reilly Capps:
Like criticizing the light fixtures on the Titanic. This ship was going down anyway.

San Francisco Chronicle / Mick LaSalle:
At times, it actually hurts to watch.

Baltimore Sun / Chris Kaltenbach:
Hands-down, the best James Brolin-in-an-Italian-accent movie ever.

Chicago Sun-Times / Roger Ebert:
Pants and wheezes and hurls itself exhausted across the finish line after barely 65 minutes of movie, and then follows it with 15 minutes of end credits in an attempt to clock in as a feature film.

Philadelphia Inquirer / Steven Rea:
Totally lame.

Rolling Stone / Peter Travers:
Master of Disguise could have been the most topical comedy of 1975.

Poor Dana Carvey - seems to be a likeable enough guy, but he has really had a hard time picking movies ever since he left SNL.
Did you know he was in Halloween II in 1981?

Someone wrote a wonderful review of the movie on IMDB:
"Sheer genius cannot even begin to properly address this cinematic achievement, to call it any less is an insult. Dana Carvey, on the surface, plays a bumbling Italian waiter who inherits the power of disguise; however, if you dig a bit deeper & peel away the layers, you'll find a motion picture which is a scathing, yet biting social political statement on society as a whole."
More..


Good God I just dedicated a lot of space to Dana Carvey. How the hell did that happen.


Sunburned Mother F*cker
Please hum 'Slack Mother F*cker' but change the chorus to 'Sunburned Mother F*cker'. If you don't know the song, well two things:
1. Why the hell not? Where were in 1989 (or whenever it came out)?
2. Go buy 'Tossing Seeds'

We went to Robert Moses Beach/Park whatever you call it Saturday. Ah, the ocean. The water was perfect, apart from the seaweed everywhere. It was cool, and the waves were nice and rolling. Being a southern born boy who spent his summers jumping waves in the ocean, New York beaches are nice with their lack of jellyfish and shark attacks. I know there is still stuff prowling out there under the surface, but it's just nice not to come up with a jellyfish sitting two inches from your head.
Viva la Ocean.

My friend George was scuba diving once, and a friend jumped off the dock or whatever and landed in a mass of baby jellyfish. Ow!
Sting-a-rama.
He also saw a barracuda.

Oh, wait, the sunburn thing. I put on some sunscreen, but apparently I need to put on more than 'some'. The tops of my feet and my ankles got the jeebus burned out of them. Plus my face. And my neck. And a bit of my arms.
Burning the tops of my feet pretty much mean that I am not walking around in shoes for the next day or two.

Damn sun - giver of life - burner of me.





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