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post #243
bio: rich

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Roaches I have Killed through the years.

1. My Bed : Early 80's
One summer we got infested with those crazy flying roaches. I am not sure if they were in the house already or just flying in, but that particular summer it was all about these damn things.
I was in bed and opened my eyes and one was walking towards me on the other pillow. I squealed like a 12 year old boy and smushed it with something. A shoe or book I suspect.
I imagine these guys were just coming in through a hole in a window screen or something because we really never saw them again.

Side note: Flying roaches (if they really are roaches) must of been a joke or a dare when God created the animals and insects.
"Dude, how about this: Make some roaches that also fly! That will totally freak them out."
Ha Ha, real funny all-mighty.

2. College Dorm 1989
This was the first night in my big (HUGE) dorm room I shared with my pal Jeff. As I was putting my stuff away, a mouse-sized roach ran out of my closet and I smushed him with my foot.
Not to get graphic, but the smush part was totally nasty. So nasty that I stopped what I was doing and left my room and went out for a long walk.

3. Apartment in NC 1995
We lived at the beach for a few years after college and as most of you may know the warmer the climate the bigger the roach. This apartment always had these big roaches who would wear little hats and ties and had little roach newspapers and would use our kitchen floor as their commute to their roach jobs.
The incident in particular I remember is one night sitting on my couch with the cat, and she suddenly perks up and bolts across three rooms into the kitchen (we had the biggest damn apartment ever with rent that was so cheap). She was good at spotting things, and she chased this roach around the kitchen until he headed up the wall. That is about the time I caught up to her and smushed him.

4. Sidewalks in NC 1993-1997
In this same coastal town I spent summer evenings walking around going to bars or friend's houses or what not. While walking I made it my job to kill every roach I came across, which was hard to do. They were everywhere.
It was like the sidewalk was always moving.
You know in NYC how we have those black spots of gum all over the sidewalk? Well, sometimes it was like that, with the exception that the f*ckers moved.
Squash! Squash! Squash! Squash!

5. Bathroom in Brooklyn 1999
He was huge. Not "down south" big, but still really really big. Chased him all around the sink area and finally grabbed him with a paper towel. I plopped him in the toilet and right as I was about to flush him, I realized how big he was so I went and got my camera and took his picture (I can't find it).

dude i am sooo afraid of waterbugs... you made me shudder and laugh while reading this.
»liz ||  2/21/2003 ||  12:08:04 AM

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