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bio: rich

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that week

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Snap Wrap

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Snap Wrap
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Snap Wrap: April 4, 2006

Robot Editor Note: This is the first edition of the Snap Wrap - the weekly wrap-up of the goings on in Stanly County, NC written by my wife, the always popular "Mrs. Robot". She grew up there and as a gift we were given a subscription to the Stanly News & Press - the thrice weekly local paper.
We've always been fans, somewhat ironically, of the paper and it's fun small-town vibe.
Also, note that we are always a week behind since it takes a while for the paper to get to NYC.

Snap Wrap - Volume 1
by Mrs. Robot

Special Robot Journal guest writer

Front Page
Becky Greene has accused candidate for sheriff, Jeff Bradford, of unlawfully engaging in sexual contact by touching her breast against her will. The alleged incident took place following the debates at Thursday's Republican Forum.

Ms. Greene told the reporter, "His wife and children were sitting behind me. When he approached me he reached out to try and shake my hand. I turned away from him to my left and that's when he put his hand on my breast."

Mr. Bradford called the charges "purely political". Why he feels this way is not elaborated in the story. We are only told he was fired in July 2005 when at that time he was the third ranking officer in the sheriff's department.

You might think that reporter, Jim Lisk, was so taken at the thought of mentioning a breast on the front page of this rather quiet county newspaper that he failed to follow-up on these rather insightful details but being that this is Stanly County everyone already knows why Jeff was fired.

Cook's Corner
by Ann Hudson, Cottonville Road.

Fresh Strawberries and Cream
1 (4 serving box) sugar-free vanilla instant pudding
1-1/4 C fat-free milk
1 (8 oz) carton fat-free lemon yogurt
1 lb carton of fresh strawberries

Place pudding mix, milk, yogurt into large bowl. Mix with a whisk until well balanced. Place in refrigerator to chill. Wash strawberries and remove stems; slice strawberries thinly. Mix sliced strawberries into pudding mixture. Chill 30 minutes up to 10 hours. Good over a slice of angel food cake.

Ann has included her phone number if there are any questions. Questions? Seriously? Like, I don't know- how can you make cream with fat-free milk?

Pick Pickler Update
Scheduled to perform at the Tuesday Kellie Block Party were Joy Almond (the 2005 American Idol) and runner-up Brooke Garcia. The local restaurants were set to serve their American Idol specials again. Hope everyone kept an eye out of Grandpa Clyde and his friend Jean plus friends of Kellie from Charlotte in the Hollywood audience.

Go Kellie!

I have to throw in my two cents here (wow! commenting on the robot journal! fun!).

Mrs. Robot and I tried to recreate this sexual harassment. Over and over again I pretended to shake her hand while she turned to her left and very often I found my hand land near her breast.
Over and over again.

So, this guy. He's innocent. It was just a tragic boob run-in.
»:r ||  4/11/2006 ||  12:16:52 AM
omg omg. puh-lease keep doing the snap wrap. i'm a F.A.N. the sexual harassment "experiment" needs to be in slo-mo.
»mina ||  4/11/2006 ||  1:04:30 AM
instant pudding? Instant Kancho.
»eve ||  4/11/2006 ||  3:54:49 AM
someone gave me a scrip' to my local paper from home...jeebus those home folk are nutty... i agree with mina, keep it comin'
»n8 ||  4/11/2006 ||  7:17:24 AM
I re-wrote the intro b/c it doesn't make it clear that Mrs. Robot is the writer here.
»:r ||  4/11/2006 ||  8:27:03 AM
i HATE Kellie Pickler i hope she gets voted out soon ... there is only so much dumb blonde shit i can take from her.
»k ||  4/11/2006 ||  9:45:11 AM
What are the American Idol specials exactly? And can I get them with fries?
»jen ||  4/11/2006 ||  3:18:56 PM
From reading previous issues of the SNAP the AI special always includes a Kellie calamari. Apparently, she tried the dish for the first time in LA. I forget the other specials but they've been listed in the paper before.
»mrs. robot ||  4/11/2006 ||  11:53:53 PM

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