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post #720
bio: rich

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that week

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Amateur Bike Hour Sucks

Amateur Bike Hour Sucks

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Here am I headed north on Clinton street in the bike lane. Cruising along having a lovely evening.
I'm approaching the intersection at Amity and Clinton and I notice two things:

(1) A woman crossing the street looking in my direction

(2) A guy on a bike coming down the street approaching the intersection. In the bike lane. Going the wrong way (against traffic). Headed towards her.

Now, technically, the woman should look both ways. But it is a one way street and most people don't do that.
So, she begins to cross and the guy on the bike comes zooming through the intersection and basically clips her. She kind of wobbles and falls down.
He continues on and he's headed in my direction. I raise my arms in a "WTF" expression to him and he mistakenly thinks I thought his maneuver was "cool" or something and tries to high-five me and smiles.
I yell at him, "WTF asshole".

I rode up and checked on the woman. She was fine but shaken. We agreed that he was a "fcking jerk" especially since he didn't stop. For a minute I thought of giving chase but he already has a good lead on me. Although I suspect I could have caught him. Then again, I am not sure what I would have done if I caught up.

If I had a time machine
Idea #1 - swerve into his path as he approached me and try to push him into the parked cars
Idea #2 - grabbed and yanked his arm when he offered the high-five
Idea #3 - given chase and magically had some sort of stick or pipe that I could of jammed into his front wheel as I passed... "Breaking Away" style.

What annoys me
Well, first that he clipped her and she fell down and he didn't even stop. And then the high-five thing.
Oh, and he had fcking white ipod ear-buds on. Holy crap. I hate headphone wearing bike people. I think I've purposely started buzzing closer to people with headphones on to spook them. Also, he looked like a fratboy twit that had just come from the gym and was headed home to chill out. I suspect he was bike was stupid.

Other things about him
He harbors doubts about President Obama's birth certificate authenticity.
He picks his nose and wipes it on the walls in the bathroom at my office.
He thinks Canadians are deathly ill because of their socialist health care.
He doesn't remember yelling "fag" at cyclists 10 years ago before it was "cool".
He taunts homeless people.
He uses the word "bro" in the majority of his Facebook status updates.

woah. What a jerk.
»eve ||  7/23/2009 ||  7:16:40 AM
Fucking bike salmon.
»stu ||  7/23/2009 ||  11:47:29 AM

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