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what a great song. I made myself play some music. this showed up.
"everybody loves you, so don't let them down"
"hopeless romantics here we go again" - I actually had my arms in the air and cheered.
my mother is surrounded by kids rejected/abused by their fathers.
she feels like there is a story in her life that she was rejected by her own father - instead of daddy's not favorite, she might have realized her father had a profound love for her - the savings account was proof of it.
and I saw a foto of 7-year old Bradley cooper's daughter - and wondered profoundly
what would it have been liked to have been loved and adored as a beautiful little girl.
now 'surgar daddy' is up on my dj-ed toons. and here we come to bumble again.
"I really couldn't stand to see you"
I think that was what was so vampiric (oh the tears come at this one) when I first met smart men who loved me...
it sounds so trite, so done do death
so me....
Steven Bailey once told me that he thought every singer was always going to be writing the same song just different ways.
god, I loved being loved. even thinking of the embers of it now can make me feel - like a drug - it feels...
and I bleed. I bleed so much. soon I will be on black team and red team will be less one member. in greek culture, white was the pre-menstrual, red was the main thrust - the period years - and black was post-menstrual.
what fun to have a child , yet I even choke at the thought of another pet - can I bring the love that is needed or will I choke and do the burden thing... I would have liked to have thought I'd be like my sister and friends and grow so much as a person
"I swoop around your head I never hit."
there's some them Yorke? song I'm not sure of in my scrambled divorce spoils. I tried. I got something of my previous marriage's music bounty.
Orangey ran toward the air mattress refilling sound. and while I was filling it.
just got floored/paused and listened to the cranberries "always putting me down" song.
and now some dinosaur,wj3qsiO
orangie wrote that
another reason I'd be bad with kids - those boundaries I don't have.
would I have learned them? I had a chance to be into kids
now I'm listening to trick the cosmonaut's 'New York' and I remember that I had a life outside of my mark years - the whole Wilmington culture made me feel alive. maybe there's a book in it, but I feel like in 'Kristen's words' would be more biblically accurate - well, I wrote a lot about Wilmington and the people and the happenings...
I loved you Detlef.
it was so fun to hang out with artists. I'm sure Kent felt it.... oh shit, now a real tricky song... a good one - 'New York' is kind of a trifle. will skip
now "all the wine" by the national.
it is so weird that mark sent me this
detleff's first name was mark.
there's a flock of very tin tiny birds in this yard.
scavenging
jimmy Carter was a birder apparently
I meant weird in like - I cry as I even think to write it -
allowing or even thinking that someone could love me
so much shame cake this one's bloated old face.
awwww thanks "bad" is on...
"if I could, you know I would... let it go... surrender"
x
"you better get down on the floor. don't you know this is war"
"I'm drawn between the light and dark. when others see their targets, I can't see anything. should I leave the engine on to listen to that mountain song"
I've realized this office room I'm using is the most gorgeous. it has three windows and a so far alive Norfolk pine which I love.
and I feel dumb stuck in a time and music loop but I've got plenty of music to keep me amused.
I guess the same could be said of memories.
"all I want is to be next to you."
but I skipped that and now "pride" is playing but I'll probably skip that too
maybe I'll leave it on 'death of a disco dancer"
I mourn all the architectural and artistic artistry that the fire destroyed.
the cat wants my lap.I just don't know if I can accept responsibility for antlers 15 years...
to put on a facade and be admired
or to skin the whole cat and be visceral immediately
let the bees flit
but it's not their season yet...
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