New  »   Sunshine Jen  ·  Robot Journal  ·  Post-Modern Drunkard  ·  Poop Beetle  ·  Gator Country

«« past   |   future »»

Never Free

all comments

post #192
bio: kristen

first post
that week

Category List
The ones about love
The ones about men

Previous Posts
Dutch Ultimatum
The Ludditette
Friday Party #347
The Wizard of Uz
Taking One 4 the Team
Leap and the Net Will Appear

You're never free of it all are you? The tangles waft and flow like smoke.

Do I load up a car full of my most precious and go somewhere else? Do I stay and fight?

Where to go? what to believe in? Why to go?

I still haven't filed a single paper on the big divorce. Besides the passion, I have everything I'd ever wanted from a relationship. What am I doing? Does anyone have the passion - the little wells in their tummy after eight years?

Rugrats make it happen again - you get those, and many things are prolonged - many problems go moot.

Without them, you're left with habit and trust and comfort. Or am I wrong? Is there someone out there who I've done all of this for? Am I doing this for myself? If so, why?

Don't get me wrong/right, I'm not in a panic mode - just in a thoughtful bewilderment mode. There always seem to be tendrils that I grasp for and then they go past my hands like a baby chasing a butterfly. This is all meant to be they say - everything we do, we do it to ourselves they so. It all happens for a reason.

Change is chaos. Wasn't chaos a god of something? I always liked necessity and her brood. During my manic panic (the most recent real one - as opposed to the one day one in february), I was quite insistent on remembering the three fates' names: clotho, lacheses, and atropos.

«« past   |   future »»