So, I write this silly dirge just to complete my man oeuvre...
I cry and am surprised because I haven't felt real emotion in ages. I like to feel emotion. I like to publish my writing. It seems pathetic to someone who once said they loved me. I internalize this and reject it in a hypnotic manner... blah blar.
So I take a Clonipan to pacificy the voice of chaos and slide into contented sleep only to be jarred hourse later by a nightmare that would continue each time I went back to sleep after being awoked.
Sitting in an apartment complex with two other friends living with me. It's a balmy lovely night. There are hottubs and good feelings and comeraderie, and I say to my companion: "isn't this amazing. this is all we need. how fun to have friends and love and laughs". We are in college. We live near an ocean.
Suddenly, I see something flash in the ocean. I'm transfixed. Before I can point it out to the others, the large antenna keels over into the ocean and starts submerging. Then I realize it's a boat. I point it out to the large coterie of friends who love me. By this time, it's just a mere dark tottering ship. They run to the beach. I stay at the house. I start to see the shipwreck more clearly and bodies start pouring out - grey dead bodies. I cry out to my friends to stay away - "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" They can't hear me. Bad people have killed everyone on board and then start killing my friends. They come to raid our houses. There is a mollasses slowness about me. I realize, I just have a screen door and a glass doors. They will kill me. I am too slow and all my friends have died.