If I am to reach the current U.S. life expectancy (unlikely), my life is 52.5641% complete.
Although I support a woman’s right to choose, it’s awesome I wasn’t aborted. I’m available for Super Bowl ads.
I have outlived Sylvia Plath, Bruce Lee, Karen Carpenter, Keith Moon, Chris Farley, Jesus Christ, John Belushi, Charlie Parker, Bob Marley, Lady Di, Marilyn Monroe, Anna Nicole Smith, Malcolm X, and MLK. Suck it, y’all!
I play video games, read comic books, and still laugh at farts. Some things you can carry to the grave.
I now go to more wakes than weddings. I suspect this trend will continue. At least until my wake.
Based on observations from the Hubble Space Telescope, there are at least 125 billion galaxies in the universe. It is estimated that at least ten percent of all sun-like stars have a system of planets. There are 6.25×10 (to the 18th power. i don't know how to make that on the computer. i'm old) stars with planets orbiting them in the universe. If even a billionth of these stars have planets supporting life, there are some 6.25 billion life-supporting solar systems in the universe. I don’t have a point, except, stop acting like you are owed anything. Get your head out of your ass already.
I can’t wait until I get to have sex again next year!