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I hate anonymous online comments.


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I propose a service utilizing the talents of our out-of-work former military intelligence operatives, collecting data on offending individuals, then taking out ads in their local paper with a photo and a bit of personal history above a sample of their online hating. Then sending the clipping and a very polite letter to their house. 
Here's a sample:
JOHN BALL
John lives on the Lower East Side of NYC and likes to go running in East River Park in the late afternoon, wearing his headphones and board shorts. He has a master's degree and has been a pet owner for most of his life. His first dog was an English Setter named Charlie. As an adolescent he attended youth group, and uniformly beat the associate minister in ping pong. He currently has an unpaid parking ticket, and just enjoyed all of season one of Rob Thomas' Party Down.

On June 12, 2007, responding to an article on the website Aintitshoenews.com, he wrote under the moniker, "Harrison "Harry" Buttz" the following:

"Who uses the word "twee" other than someone already too dainty for work boots, huh? Answer me that boy wonder. I bet your mother wears combat socks. BB Walker Shoes Rule! You're (sic) reasoning is so flawed--glue just called and wants it's (sic) cap back. It's in your nose!"
 
The writer of the article for Aintitshoenews, Samuel Marsden, a freelance journalist in Poughkeepsie, NY, reported that after reading the comment, felt momentarily sick, which turned to anger and irritation, because he didn't understand what Harry Butz was talking about. He was also reminded of an older cousin who had difficulty with an inhalant addiction and was institutionalized for a time. Then added he was hesitant to send his article to his parents, for fear the comment would upset them. It was his first paid work of journalism. He earned fifty dollars for the article, and had worked on it for roughly ten days.

 

My two cents. Seriously. Let's change the internet.

Sincerely,

John Ball (not my real name)





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post #327
bio: john ball
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5/14/2010
00:57

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