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she is my new obsession/child/cat.
I took her to the vet today after so much deliberation because I just didn't know what to do to make it ok ... and more cogently, my mother said she'd foot the bill.
so the house is empty.
I've wept twice.
my cat is a tortie who has been through a lot with the new house the break up the me being a mess....and my heart breaks.
I had all this list of things I was going to do while I was waiting for her and how stress free the house will be.
instead, I think of her scared in her tiny carrier
terrified
stress oozing
poking prodding
scary
and I'm not there.
and of course she seemed kind of with it today
more or less than usual
but she used to play ALL THE TIME
and sit on my lap.
she doesn't any more.
I have such an imagination
just took a pacing break to alleviate the pain.
you always hurt the
ones you love the most
I pray to any go there is that she'll
be treated well
swiftly and back in my arms
asap.
I love you Edith and I will never ever complain about playing with you again.
and the weird thing was I weirded out
after getting the Lyft driver and all the worry then
telling him to drop me off across the street so no dangerous turn
and it was the wrong vet.
the driver did not speak English so he just dropped me off and said 'so far' but I thought he meant the crossing the street.
I arrive with my brave screaming cat and they say I'm at the wrong place. I'd been here before with Padz death and Edith's deworming. I had not known that Andrew and Edith were at another place.
so I did the dumbest
thing
instead of hopping in another cab and hailing one
I asked if they could take her
so she's there
and I'm
learning what fear and love are.
thank you mommy.
prayers for Edith.
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