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18 April 2005

Ding Dong Your Dong Delivery Is Here
filed: sex
Fleshbot today reported about a new service ala Netflix which allows people to rent sex toys-"Rent-A-Dildo.Com"

This whole business model puzzles me. First of all, most sex toys are not that expensive. In fact, as the owner of more than she cares to admit, most of them are cheap pieces of crap that seem to die before the batteries. Wouldn't a better idea be disposable dongs and flushable anal beads? Of course there are higher end products out there that will not, and I just can't avoid this pun, peter out.

OK, the idea of shopping for something as blush-worthy as a vibrator from home is a no-brainer. Hell, not long ago I heard my name being called out at my local house o' smut as I perused DVDs. I spoke to my long-lost friend as I clutched my potential purchases to my chest. She was there for a bachelorette gift. My embarrassment waned as I recalled she used to be a stripper in college.

The company claims it has some special way to clean their products before shipping them out. I don't care if Mr.Clean showed up and bathed the toys with barrels of super toxic germ-be-gone. Just imagine if you will, the thought of ultimately using the same butt plug as your neighbor. Or even more vile, the same cock ring as you grandfather? Part of the disgust with this business I have is just simple hygiene, but the majority of it is just the Six Degrees of Separation from your pussy to mine.

When I watch a horror movie, I am always wanting to see more blood and more gore, and similarly I seem to always want more power and less batteries. I'll try them all. Hell, I'll buy them all, but I'll be damned if I rent one! What's next "Rent-A-Toothbrush?"

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