Thanks to vera's comment, i was thinking about Oliver Twist and that made me think of these lyrics from the song "I want more" by Chumbawamba(assuming you're familiar with the song, just substitute my college for "tearoom England" and the song is quite Apt)
"This is Tearoom England They'll kick your face in So politely This is Tearoom England They'll kick your face in Oh so nicely... I want more! No hurry More! So sorry I want more! Don't worry More! No hurry So sorry Don't worry..."
I'm still on a depressed riff, maybe it's cuz I hardly ate anything all day until about 10 minutes ago (and my stomach still hasn't registered that it has ramen noodles and half a bagel in it, the way stomaches are prone to disbelief after prolonged hunger) or the fact that I kept on messing up no matter what at my internship--well, it seemed like she didn't like anything I did. Or the fact that it's B.f.'s 22nd birthday in 2 days, and I really wish I could do something really amazing and fantastic for him. Well, there are loads of things on my mind right now actually, so I'll just debrief in random blurbs since I can't seem to speak coherently (blood sugar, rising)--
>>Fact: my cartoon has had the size trimmed from 8"x3" to "6.62" by 3". That is just ridiculous. Plus they've put a typo in this week's cartoon--exmas instead of exams AND they put the text in all wonky AND they used Comic Sans MF, a font which I absolutely detest.
>>Fact: I don't know how much longer those people at the co-op can stretch the painful suspense for B.f. and me. He went for his second interview yesterday, and it apparently went well, but (as I may have already said) 4 other people were applying for the same job, so he won't find out until thursday if he got it, and so we're both on tinterhooks until we know, it's sheer torture.
>>Fact: I hate my college campus SO much sometimes. Like today, when, after getting out of my extremely difficult English 173 class (they converse entirely in terms which I don't comprehend, discussing the deeper complexities of genre...) and had my mini-bag of popcorn. But I was still hungry, and so I really thought of these Odwalla Green Power drinks (Odwalla sucks when compared to NAKED juice, but it beats water or nothing or even kool-aid, since it has the pretense of containing vitamins and fiber and antioxidants and other things I don't have in my diet anymore). But i went over the Brew Bayou cafe (may it be blasted from the face of the earth by Mother Mayhem, as B.f. would say) and they wouldn't accept a checkcard. Neither would the University Food Court. So no food-juice for me, just water and a mini-bag of microwave popcorn. You know what they say about supermodels smoking to keep their appetite dead? it's completely true. A cigarette will keep your stomach from aching for about 15 min. Oh, and they want you to use your checkcard at a US Bank ATM machine, but those ATM machines charge highway robbery fees, so if you withdraw $5 they charge you $25 in interest (this is completely true). So I walked around starving until 30 minutes ago...including during my whole internship, when the co-ordinator was just going over everything I wrote and I felt like a complete f*ck-up.
>>Another fact that makes me sad: I really wish I could do something to make Robin feel better. She had major surgery a few days ago, and everytime I talk to her or see her she's just so...faint. It makes me very, very sad because I want to be able to cheer her up, but I feel like the blind leading the blind who have recently had major surgery. It wasn't always this way, I used to be the most happy, cheerful, goddamn optomistic person in the universe but lately my Dickensian orphan-optomism is under heavy attack. To be honest, I don't know if I can ever be really happy or carefree again. I don't trust anything (except for the good people in my life)--I always feel like i am walking in a minefield.
>>Fact: Hopefully, I will get student loans tomorrow. I have no idea whether Jill has been successful in scheduling an appointment with her and me and her banker, but I hope so. I don't know what I will do if she hasn't, since we are basically...Holy shit, I can't believe I'm actually typing this, but maybe it will help if I talk about it... $250 short of rent and I have worked my ass off this month. So I don't know what i can/will do. I'm very overwhelmed, to be honest.
>>Fact: it's almost B.f.'s birthday (Jan. 27th is the actual day) and it's like, what can you do for the sweetest guy in the world who deserves everything good and nice, and you can't even make him a cake or something? That, right there, is enough to make me cry.
>>Fun: Our landlady Susan brought us up a bowl of corn chowder and some toast yesterday, which was a lovely surprise.
>>Fun: I missed a call from my friend Katie before school because I was sleeping in this morning until 7:30 AM, I was trying so hard to stay awake reading The Odyssey last night and I was just so tired that I missed her call, which made me sad. But I hope she gets this shout out to her.
>>Fact: my manager John wants me to go over and start photocopying pronto. I hate photocopying.