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post #295
bio: katie
bio: victoria


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there but for the grace of God go...
Sunday, November 27, 2005

› by victoria

what am i supposed to think?
what what what am I supposed to think?

I just saw my coworker Mike, who always makes me laugh with crazy celeb gossip, so I lost my train of thought of what I was typing before I went to get my manager John some green tea at Starbucks because that is what I do. But I was telling him (Mike) how upset I was because I don't want my winter vacation trip-plans to fall apart like a wet cheap paper towel. He laughed and said that if we are stuck in Milwaukee over Xmas, he'll make sure that we remember that winter break as "the winter break we went to Jamo's like, 10 times" (*Jamo's being this shady local east side bar that we always jokingly refer to).

The Midwest--in particular, Milwaukee-- is a whole different kettle of fish than the Southwest or the East Coast. Even the bums here are scrappier. There's not enough to go around of anything--good weather, good health, good jobs--and there's a gravitational pull here that's so strong that I admire the guts of anyone who can escape. I think maybe that's why Stu reads art colony so attentively--maybe he reads it and sees "There but for the grace of God go I". Or something.

All I want is everyone to get along. I can't stand disagreements. If it were up to me, I would just want everyone to communicate and really be honest with themselves. I really think that would solve things.

I get panic attacks.
I worry about what's going to happen to Biff's schooling and Biff and even to me, seeing as my courses next semester are so mega-fucked-up and I have to go & talk to the professor who teaches these 2 comm classes I want to get into tomorrow and beg with him to let me get in the classes because they're both full...

I have tons of homework to do and I can't focus enough to do it.

I have this song stuck in my head

waiting for a friend to tell me I'm okay
waiting for a friend to hold my hand
if I start to fall again
waiting for a friend to tell me I'm okay
yeah I'm okay
So you ask me
if I'm worried that they're late
or you ask me
if I'm worried that the pain won't end
or you ask me
if I'm worried for my fate
I said no
Cause I'm waiting for a friend
cause I'm waiting for a friend

I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay...

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