And lo, this year I cooked the turkey. With Jill's totally awesome low-fat turkey recipe. Starting off with a 16 pound turkey that Biff had procured, I wrestled with the bird carcass, reaching inside the cavity to find what I thought was at first a really disturbing "adult-oriented" joke, only to find it was the turkey neck. Ha ha! Euuggh. Had to rinse the bird inside + out with water and then dry it thoroughly. I cut off the wing tips with heavy-duty Westhoff scissors and trimmed the bird flaps around the cavity which I would soon have to fill with stuffing. Then I moved the 16 pounder onto a rack and rubbed it with salt. Biff helped me grind some fresh pepper (*he wasn't feeling too chili-red-hot-good so the pepper-grinding was a symbolic gesture of assistance) and I rubbed that into the turkey along with--surprise surprise--turkey herb seasoning rub. Then I took off both my rings and stuffed the turkey with STUFFING because stuffing is my favorite, FAVORITE food at thanksgiving or basically anytime of year. I could live off stovetop, except stovetop doesn't include celery or onion bits, and I love those so. Then I put the turkey in at 500 degrees for 2 hours or so, and it didst smoke up the house and make funny hissing noises as the grease all melted off. I also put in a casserole dish filled with stuffing but that got burned. Ooops.
Adam made mashed potatoes and helped me make Jill's classic acorn squash with bacon. (*which is SOOOOOOO delicious, I love it and it's so easy: Cut an acorn squash in half, get all the goop out, poke it all over with a fork, cover it with salt and pepper, then place a strip or two of raw bacon cut into little bits inside the squash. Then place the squash inside a deep casserole dish with an inch or two of water sloshing around inside and let it cook at 350 degrees until it's soft...omg, SO tasty). So thanksgiving was saved after all!
My turkey ended up looking beautiful and tasting alright which was a huge surprise to me, Ms. "Don't trust her with cooking anything." I feel like I can cook things now. It was very self-esteem boosting and fun to have thanksgiving all together. We even had pumpkin pie with whipped cream. (*More people should buy whipped cream: it's the ultimate pinnacle of tasty civilization food).
I am woman, hear me lift the heavy turkey carcass with a loud thud! Ooof!
Have you started your Chrismahannukwanzukah shopping yet?