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post #179
bio: elanamatic
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5/2/2005
10:21

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05.02.05

Gone off on your own and just SCREAMED?

I have. I used to get so mad, I would take off in the aging Cressida I shared with my brother, and cruise the streets of Montreal, music blaring and scream. Scream until my lungs burned and my throat became raw. Others would drive alongside me, unaware of the rage being released.

I would return home silenced and a little lost but infinitely calmer.

The rage has been building up inside me again. Sometimes I worry I will choke on it in my sleep. I can't seem to release it. I've tried running until I am empty but it's just not the same. I've even punched walls.

Nothing.

The boiling anger remains locked up inside me. It erupts at all the wrong moments, spraying innocent victims and burying me deep under my own mental bullshit.


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