"Dude just ate the petting zoo in like ten minutes." - Me discussing the dude's consumption of a plate o' elk, bison and caribou at La Palette on Saturday night.
"Hey Doug, it's Elana. Nice to see you." "Nice to see you too. A dog just peed in my helmet." "Well, if it makes you feel any better, a bird just shat on my head." - Running into an acquaintance while walking in the Beaches Sunday afternoon.
"Hey look at how our chlamydia is growing in." "Umm that is not chlamydia, that is clematis." "Oh right." "Heh. But our gonorrhea is growing nice and strong." - Me and the dude checking out our wimpy garden early Monday morning before work.
I am off to Silicon Valley for work later today. Later suckas!