3. i watch the show, hoping for the Little Rock, Arkansas episode because I miss my family back home.
4. throwing a cheeseburger at someone qualifies as a "domestic." it is also worth crying over and will earn you a stern rebuke that there are starving children in the world.
5. all the people whose faces you see have signed waivers because they want to be on TV.
6. 4 things: keep your shirt on, don't call the officer "dude" or "poppy", never challenge a cop to a fight, and when pulled over, don't ask the cop to hold your beer while you get your license.
7. if a pick-up truck pulls out of a crack den and has a tail light out, strap yerself in and cue up the dixie music y'all! cause it's gonna run a stop sign!!! whooooo!!!!!
8. old married couples fight over cheese. i'm not making this up: he speaks only spanish. she speaks only english. they're really old and eating some cheese. she called the cops because she lost her dentures on the sidewalk below their apartment window after he slapped them out of her mouth cause she was trying to eat his cheese.
9. don't ask a cop to get your $20 dollars back from that prostitute because she took your money and wouldn't give you some crack.
10. the woman who admits on camera "you caught me on a really freaky friday night" might be lying!
* that's a direct quote. when the cop said tools, he pulled out a taser.