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Klutch.xls: Ode on a Char-Char Binx
Today is Char-Char-Binx's last day working for this once illustrious not-for-profit cultural institution. Binx did not have a column here on the Robot, but you may have read her astute observations on this or other comment boards on the site. In addition, sho co-authored a number of my columns and our lunch room conversations were the inspiration for countless others.
I will now be alone on my 10:15 and 3:00 cigarette coffee breaks. It is indeed a dark day for the fishes.
In honor of Char-Char-Binx's last day, here are her parting words. Char, I hope to follow in your footsteps:
Goodbye
To all the big people: I give all the lunches your pompous ass made me get for you, all the gallons of stale black coffee I had to wash down the drain because no one ever drank it, all the meetings I scheduled where no one ever bothered to show up, all the phone calls I took from your yuppie sons and daughters distraught over totaling the SUV, all the specialized monarch letterhead I ordered that I now use to start fires in my garbage can on the corner, because I'd rather be broke than work for you, and last but not least all the nights I went home and sat, miserable and crying into the stale beer from the night before, staring out the window wondering what I did to deserve this.
Goodbye
To all the little people, I give any hope that may be left in the little spirits that have been stomped upon by the big man's boot for the past lifetime.
Goodbye
To me, I give the premise of a new life, a new life where I get my own lunches, I new life where I swear to god if anyone ever ends up working for me, I treat them like a good person, as an equal as everyone and everything deserves to be treated.
Goodbye
Have a fine weekend, folks!
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