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Klutch.xls: Hangin' Tuff!
For a while I wanted to start my own boy band. We would be called S.O.X. which would stand for:
Studs on X!
Heres the thing. Our gimmick would be that each of us would wear a different kind of sock. Tube sock, dress sock, no sock, and one guy would always (always) be in a leg cast. And we would always be fucked up on ecstacy (or X as like to call it, not E like the kids do.) A bunch of us would wear wife beaters and there would be at least one guy who wore a construction hat. We would all wear Timberlands except the dress sock guy who would wear dress shoes. Oh, and also maybe there would be a guy who wore Eastlands like all the preppy kids did in High School. The Eastland guy could be the no sock guy.
We'd throw out ecstacy to the 12 year old girls in the audience and they would have a My Pretty Pony or some shit like that printed on them. And, damn, they would have a really fucking hard time paying attention in middle school the next day.
But, you know what, I don't want to start that boy band anymore. I want to start a new boy band. It would be called "A.B.U.B.C."
Couldn't you just see it? All these friggin whacked out towney chicks cheering for me. They would love it. And our gimmick would be office supplies. Like, I'd be like the toner guy or some shit.
And "A.B.U.B.C." would stand for:
Always Be Using Binder Clips
You'd let your daughter come see that, right?
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