pork;porkophile




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Klutch.xls: men in gowns



If I was (were) a Judge, I would do the following:

1. Not wear pants
2. Not wear Underwear
3. Chew tobacco
4. Commission a two (2) ton granite statue of Superman, arm-in-arm with Wonderwoman and Batman. I would have this statue placed in the lobby of my courthouse. The courthouse would be renamed "the Hall of Justice" and my vengence would be fierce.

I mean, hell, a myth is a myth, right? If Judge Moore can get away with it, why couldn't I?

Which get's me to thinking: if I am going to live my life by a perfect set of laws which should I choose?

the 10 Commandments vs. the Rules to Fight Club

1. Thou shalt not have any other gods before me vs. Thou shalt not talk about Fight Club

I knew a Catholic priest who would fall to his knees to lick the soles of an alter boy's feet. 99.9% of Americans worship their SUV.

No one talks about Fight Club.

Round 1: Fight Club

2. Thou shalt rest on the sabbath vs. Thou shalt not talk about fight club

Do you work on Sunday? Does Ted Turner work on Sunday? No. It's the poor working class schmucks who work at Target and Wendy's that have to work on Sunday while the rich stay at home and eat their children.

No one talks about Fight Club.

Round 2: Fight Club

3. Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor. vs. If thou go limp, or tap out, thy Fight is over.

I have a high pain threshhold, but when shit goes down Klutch wants an out. If my neighbor bears false witness against me, I'll kick his/her ass.

Round 3: Fight Club

4. Thou shall not covet thy neighbors wife vs. Only two guys to a fight.

Hey, wait a minute, these two are exactly the same. Weird.

Round 4: Push

So, the winner is Fight Club! I guess I already knew that since I had to look up the 10 Commandments on-line but knew the Fight Club rules by heart.


Klutch.xls is not dead. He's just resting his eyes







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›8/27/2003
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