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Klutch.xls: Public Service Announcement
Close Up: A well dressed man bites hard into an english muffin dripping with butter. The screen freezes as the lard hangs on his chin.
Hey, slow down there Bobby! Do you really have time for breakfast? Breakfast can make you late for work, and a strong state needs efficient workers. Isn't it the state that's protecting you from terrorism Bobby? Put down that English muffin and skip that Latte; the state is counting on you bobby.
Close Up: A buxum young woman in a sun dress steps up onto the first step of her commuter bus. The screen freezes as a cloud of exhaust envelopes her head.
Take a step back Jill! Public transportation is the leading reason people stop buying gasoline. If good strong hard working americans aren't purchasing this gas, then shurely it will be sold to Nicaraguan drug runners. Is it me Jill, or do Nicaraguans look different than you and me? So do terrorists Jill.
Close Up: A fine young officer of the law cuffs a sour faced priest. The screen freezes as the priest's skirt billows in the wind.
Not so quick copper! Thou shalt not chuck the first stone, big guy. You tellin me you never checked for change in a 12 year old's pocket? Sure, society frowns upon pedophilia, but the Catholic Church is the moral fiber of our fine nation. Would you prefer to kneel before a Muslem Cleric preaching terror? Let 'em go Chucky, and take one for the team: team America!
this has been a public service announcement funded in part by the Klutch.xls is not dead, he's just sleeping, society
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