today you are four months. i wish i kept up with your month birthdays like dooce does but you'll have to settle for your online journal officially beginning at four months.
where has the time gone? oh - i know - it's gone to changing a million diapers and STILL feeding you 100 times a day. i have murderous feelings toward the entire breastfeeding community for failing to point out that one is under lock and key when one decides to breastfeed. it stopped being "beautiful" about three months ago. alas, you are growing bigger and stronger everyday and for that i am happy.
here are the some things you can do: you are finally learning to suck your thumb and soothe yourself back to sleep. when your uncle jim sticks his tongue out at you, after a few tries, you are able to plop yours out of your mouth. you laugh a lot. you like to fall asleep to mama's humming. you love to read. you also like to eat books and anything else that makes it's way into your hands. you drool massive amounts. you go to sleep with a little smile and you wake up with a smile. you hate hate hate mozart which is a shame since it's the trendy thing to have mozart incorporated into baby toys - you have a stuffed dragon that plays mozart (you get this huge pout on your face and begin to cry when it plays), you have a playmat that plays mozart (big pout, cry) and you have a cute baby einstein video that plays mozart and - yup, you guessed it - big pouty pout and a cry. i haven't experimented with other classical music - maybe you hate it all. you like norah jones and paul simon, so that's good. you sit in your stroller like a big girl now without your car seat - you also prop one of your chunky little legs up on the snack tray and look around like you're waiting for the cabana boy to bring by another mai tai.
you are truly an amazing and gorgeous creature. now, please, stop getting up twice a night to eat and let mama sleep!
this weekend we are moving your crib and changing table from our room to your own, big girl room and mama is having major anxiety attacks about it. somehow i picture a tornado blowing through and ripping apart only your side of the house. or wild bears making their way into your room from your window. or a flood rising up 30 feet and washing away ONLY your room. this will take some getting used to. you, you probably won't even care. in fact, because you won't have me peering down at your cuteness 400 times in the middle of the night and you won't have daddy snoring all night - maybe you'll actually sleep through to morning without all the hub-bub going on.
here's the thing with babies- which you don't realize because you ARE one - babies are constantly changing. you might nap really well for two weeks and then for five days nap like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. one day you eat 46 times and the next you eat 8 times. i've had to relax and learn to become more adaptable and more flexible which is very hard since mama likes schedules and plans and order. so i guess we're all doing a little growing of our own.