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So my best friend is a folk singer (a very good one, incidentally - she'll go all Sandy Denny on yo ass,) and below is a form she had to fill out. And since I have no time to think for myself, I'm just going to steal her funny. (Actually, the answers are from her friend, Rick, but whatever. Enjoy!)
ARTIST DATA SHEET
Artist Name: Rebecca Hall
Where would you like to be in your career 12-18 months from now? I
would like to be at a point where I could quit my day job and become a
self- supporting singer /songwriter
Where do you see yourself now? I see myself humiliated on a daily
basis
How many dates would you like to do a year? 3
How long would you like to be on the road at a time? long enough to
estrange myself from friends and family
How far are you willing to drive in one day from one gig to another?
I'm sorry, there must be a typo in here. It says "drive" where it
should say "fly"
How many consecutive days are you willing to perform? I usually need
to sit down after the first number. I confess I am not in the greatest
shape so if you could space the shows out where I got like a week or so
in between, that would give me time to rest up and catch some quality
naptime.
What months, days, weeks of the year do you prefer to take off?
Summers off
Do you have any preferences to which regions of the U.S. you'd like to
play at specific times of the year? If we could swing by Baltimore
during the crabcake festival that would be awesome. Ususally the first
week of May.
Will you do house concerts? are you fuckin crazy? house concerts
killed jim nabors career.
What markets do you feel you are strongest in? penis
What markets do you feel you are weakest in? vagina
What is the minimum amount of $$$ you would accept for a gig (Be
specific if you have different minimums you'd accept for support,
splits, headlining, house concerts, etc.)? poop
What venues, festivals, clubs, etc. would you like to play that you've
never played? the ass festival
What venues, festivals, clubs, etc. do you enjoy playing and would be
likely to have you back (Just list a handful of sure things.)? Jimmys
in Rosedale, Cockfarts in Atlanta, and The Slippery Anus in Cleveland
.
What venues, festivals, clubs, etc. do you never want to play again?
The "Ram A Frying Pan Up My Ass Festival" or R.A.F.P.U.M.A. An offshoot
of the already popular "ass festival." I still haven't recovered from
that one. Those fuckers were serious.
How do you feel about host housing? Yes, why shouldn't they have
housing. All hosts everywhere should have adequate and affordable
housing.
What are your sound requirements (If you have a technical rider
already, no need to answer.)? Stack those marshalls up to the god
damn ceiling and put me out in front of them. i'll take care of the
rest
What are your hospitality requirements (food likes and dislikes,
snacks, towels, water, etc.)? One towel, one light blue jumpsuit,
three snickers, a half quart of cold cream, tangerines, two butter
churns, three packs of gum, ice skates, panty hose, a 6 foot party
sub, two smaller 3 foot party subs, one minature novelty party sub,
several submarine sandwich key chains or comparable sub themed t
shirts, diet cola, dynamite, masking tape, and three cans of frosting
What performers do you enjoy performing with particularly in a
split-bill situation? Anyone that sucks more than I do
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