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ornithopter: Tour Diary pt. 2 |
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As noted last week, last month Shumai went on our first real tour. Our jaunt took us to various cities and various motel chains up and down the east coast of this land of ours.
Basically, we came away with the following lessons learned:
1. Do not go to the south in early August.
2. Never eat at a place called "Mom's."
3. Never make your drummer laugh after an all you can eat breakfast buffet.
4. AAA membership is a very good idea.
So, ok, the van was totally dead. We had our mechanic take a look at it and he said that there was no way that the van had been inspected by anyone prior to us buying it as everything was rusted and/or held together with some sort of sticky goo, not unlike chewing gum. Perhaps it was chewing gum. Apparently the mechanic was really incensced (sp?) on our behalf, which was nice of him, but we still had no van. We ended up renting a mini-van, which, while not nearly as roomy, was at least a lot easier to drive.
So off we went to NYC (ok, Brooklyn,) to Tommy's Tavern to do a show with Tae Won Yu, formerly of the amazing Kicking Giant, and of course, Snoozer, who are on tour with us. Tommy's is in Greenpoint and seems to be a bar heavy with locals most of the week, but books really good shows on weekends. Many $2 PBRs were drunk both ironically and in earnest and we had a grand old time, although Tae Won Yu only played like 3 songs. Todd the booker presented us with a John Kerry bumper sticker which we displayed proudly (well, as proudly as we could on a rental van,) the rest of the tour and then we were off to NJ to find a cheap motel. We managed to find one (a Ramada Inn that was decorated in a style that I can only describe as "couldn't possibly offend my tastes more unless it was covered in shit,") that wasn't really cheap at all in, I think, Freehold, or at least that's what the exit sign said.
The next morning we got up and went to breakfast at the only place we could find which was a place called "Mom's." See warning above; the place smelled of sewage so badly I had to wonder if there wasn't human waste spewing into the kitchen. For some reason, we ate there anyway. Nobody got sick, so I guess we dodged the e-coli bullet.
Woo!
Then it was off to Philadelphia on what turned out to be possibly the hottest day I've experienced in several years and, just our luck, it's at a hippie house and of course air conditioning is bourgeois. Let's not even talk about deodorant, which is obviously a tool of The Man.
And don't get me started on the bearded lady because I'll come off as an asshole. But it was weird, dude. But everyone was totally nice and really seemed to enjoy our set. Plus, it was partly a benefit show for a little dog that lived there who had been hit by a car and had a $5000 operation. She was part chihuahua and part pug. A Chug, if you will. SO cute! She looked like a pug, but without the smushy face that gives them all the breathing problems.
Oh, and earlier in the day we went to South St. and looked at all the touristy stuff. We were shocked to see that they had like 3 or 4 dildo stores right there on the main shopping drag. City of Brotherly Love, indeed.
Off to DC next...
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