I kissed Mandy Patinkin in the elevator of Mt. Sinai Hospital. Not in real life, but in a dream. And when I woke up, I felt nauseated. I have always had a thin tolerance for Mr. Medleyhead. But this dream turned me off him completely for a couple of years.
Blaine just wrote an entry about crushes he develops after having sexy dreams about people.
While I won't deny that this very phenomenon has occurred in my life, I think that there is an even more disturbing trend in my subconscious to make me have intimate dream moments with completely inappropriate people I would never crush out on.
The next time I see that person, it is invariably an awkward and guilt-ridden encounter. I remember dreaming about my friend's dad when I was a teenager and blushing furiously and looking down when I saw him next, only to look down right at his crotch.
Mortifying. And the list of mismatched couplings only gets more bizarre but I now know that it only your brain processing information and shaking it up with impulses and doing the dada thing while you sleep. Dada as in the art movement, not the Freud movement.
But before I knew all that, I was scarred by a couple of key dreams when I was a kid.
When I was about eight years old, we had a policewoman come to our school and teach us about sexual predators. She said if someone is touching you in your private area, you should just says NO! We all practiced shouting: 'No!"
That night I went home, ate dinner, and watched Knightrider with my sisters. Once asleep I had a dream that David Hasselhoff was touching me in my private areas, but I had no voice to say no.
Since then I have been phobic, completely repulsed by the Baywatch King. It is bad enough he is still on TV, but he parades around with his broad, hairy chest. eeeyuch.
Do any Toronto readers have great bike theft stories? Do you know where your bike goes when it gets stolen? Do you know anyone who steals bikes and would talk under strict conditions of anonymity? Any great tips on how to keep your two-wheeler safe from theft? Any stories on insurance scams?
I am collecting bike theft stories with kato for a little project. Leave me a comment if you do and I will email you back.