I am feeling a mounting sense of dread, and it all has to do with the recurrence of a certain hair trend: Bangs. Or, as they call it in England, the "fringe". Or as they call it in Hebrew: Pony. I kid you not. In Hebrew, bangs are "Pony" and ponytails are "koo-koo"s. But I digress from my rant:
First some supermodels get bangs. Then Gwyneth. .
Then Catherine "I married a human turkey" Zeta-Jones did it.
Sarah GD (who is my own personal fashion radar) came to town this weekend, and now her forehead, too is graced by a fringe of hair (admittedly lovely looking, but that is cuz she is hot). Could we all backtrack for a moment here? Didn't we all decide that bangs were as bad an idea as synthetic panties and back-combing?
Bangs give you zits. They dwarf your face. They look retarded pinned back. They never behave. They stick up all awry when you take off your winter hat. You always have to tend to them (remember all those crooked trims you used to give yourself?). My hairdresser in the 80's used to offer "fringe trims" for free, but I like to keep my trips to the hair dresser a semi-annual event.
Then there was the whole business of growing them out. months of elaborate hair product procedures, bobby pins, and bandanas. There was no way to disguise that your hair was "in transition".
Scars and freakishly sloped foreheads are the only excuse I can think of to put yourself through the ordeal of bangs. <>