Yesterday was the candidates debate. It was hard to watch. They all seemed so goofy. Sticking to message means that no real ideas get bounced around. I had some friends over for the debate and we all agreed that it is an outdated format for discussion. Two straight hours with no break with studio lights and cameras...they must have been pooing their pants!
We all agreed that we didn't learn anything new about the agendas of the parties. But we all ate many of kate's candidate cookies (with coloured smarties to represent each party) and heckled the tv for the entirety of the debate.
Dear Jack Layton, I know you were rattled after that comment you opened with about proportional representation in the House of Commons. It sounded like you were saying that women would actually clean the house of commons. We were all: Hold Tight Monkey! And I guess that years of debating hysterical short guys like Jakobek and Lastman has given you a taste for hyperbole. But you had a real chance to look human and thoughtful in the face of the other blowhards and maybe demonstrate your sense of humour. But this wholestick to the messag strategy made you as wooden as the rest of them. You still get my vote, but couldja please stop smirking?
Dear Paul Martin, You are our prime minister. You shoulda acted with the authority of your office instead of being put so easily on the defensive. The whole country is pissed off at the your bloated, corrupt party. So when you smile all pleased with yourself after you make a coherent comment, you end up looking like one of the old boys high on the hog. Also: You talk like a machine gun.
Dear Mr. Duceppe: I like you. On a purelu personal level. You seem like a guy I could discuss ideas with. Wanna come over for dinner?
Dear Stephen Harper, I have to say I feel extremely anxious about your rise in popularity. Like your former provincial counterpart, Mike Harris, you exude the kind of common sense unflappable demeanour,that disguises a frightening agenda. You remind me of a computer programmer with all your factoids and lack of eye contact. But then you whip out your social issues like a vampire hunter brandishing a string of garlic. Newsflash: Everyone is against kiddieporn. What you dot say is that you lump all art and literature that explores childhood sexuality into this all encompassing category. Also: Your hair is very playmobil.
Dear Satan, If Steven Harper has to win, could GWB lose? I would make that sacrifice.