I have been hit with two memes. The first is from Liz who asks that I list 8 random things about myself.
Seeing as I once actually took the time to write out ONE HUNDRED random things about myself (the most commented-on tidbit was my favourite Star Trek episode), I will try and mix it with Rich, our friendly webmaster's meme, wherein he asks us to consider what we would answer Clarence Carter in his iinterrogative chanson, "strokin".
So here goes, Clarence (and Liz, and Rich): Let me ask you somethin'... What time of the day do you like to make love Well, Clarence, I was never so picky, but these days, I would say that magic window around the morning nap.
Have you ever made love just before breakfast? By just before breakfast, do you mean before coffee, too? Again, Clarence, I worry about sounding too picky, but I am really at my best AFTER caffeine.
Have you ever made love while you watched the late, late show I like to think of myself as a multitasker, Clarence, but I try not to watch tv while I make love. Not that I couldn't do both simultaneously, but I would hate to get caught chuckling at the monologue while making the sweet love. Bad optics.
Well, let me ask you this Have you ever made love on a couch? Yes, but I made sure to turn off the tv first.
Well, let me ask you this Have you ever made love on the back seat of a car? I never had a boyfriend with a car. Growing up, almost no one in my circle had a driver's license. In fact, I think a big reason I fell in love with Kiff was his drivers' license. Can we borrow your car?
I remember one time I made love on the back seat of a car And the police came and shined his light on me, and I said:
I'm strokin', that's what I'm doin', I be strokin' I stroke it to the east And I stroke it to the west And I stroke it to the woman that I love the best I be strokin'
I once had a boyfriend whose brother was a truck driver. He was really late once to pick us up for dinner, but we could see his truck parked outside the apartment. We went downstairs lo and behold, Clarence, if we didn't happen upon the brother and his ex strokin' in the truck. We coulda knocked on the door or shone a light on them, but instead we went back up to wait for them. Maybe we should have knocked? That night they made a baby. The brother was a big loser who never stuck around, but the baby was beautiful.
In order to complete Liz's request, I have to fill in two more random things. Once I had upstairs neighbours who stroked like bunnies in their bedroom above mine. They were both employed as stand-ins for a local tv production. She was dim and sweet and he was kind of blustery and creepy. Their strokin' was so loud and theatrical, I began to wonder if it was for my benefit. One night, the woman in the couple invited me up for wine, and told me that her husband had asked her repeatedly if she thought I could hear them.
My friend has a carroll at the library where she is researching her dissertation. One day, she discovered that people were strokin' in her study-space when she found three used condoms. I am not sure if it is libraries or procrastination that is the biggest aphrodisiac, but them students like their strokin'.