New  »   Sunshine Jen  ·  Post-Modern Drunkard  ·  Poop Beetle  ·  Robot Journal  ·  Gator Country
3 is the magic number
«« past   |   future »»

all comments

post #316
bio: stu

wish list
first post
that week
my links

Favorite Things
· The Flaming R. Kelly
· Malfatti
· Johnny Cash
· Chuck Klosterman
· Deadwood, Seasons 1 & 2

Previous Posts
Notes on Sobriety
Republicans Are Tough Guys
Brain Fog
Clown Posse
Uber, but For Wrong Numbers
On the Greatest Political Satire of the 21st Century

Category List
February Smackdown
Literary Shit
Mad Craziness
Random 10


The Man Who Sold The Sun
A Spanish woman by the name of Angeles Duran is claiming that she owns the sun. She went down to a local notary public and filled out what she thought was the proper paperwork, and now she claims the sun is hers
"There was no snag, I backed my claim legally, I am not stupid, I know the law. I did it but anyone else could have done it, it simply occurred to me first." None of the Spanish authorities have objected, and so we have no recourse, she claims. She hopes to start charging us, soon.

The law is actually clear on this. Spain is a signatory on the Outer Space Treaty of 1967, which states that no government or non-governmental entities can lay claim to a celestial body. Absence of a formal complaint to her claim does not make her actions legal or binding. In Canada, a man who claimed to own sections of the Moon was arrested and thrown in jail for trying to profit off of it.

But I say, let her claim go forward. She's going to get more out of it than she bargained for.

I personally look forward to suing her out of the stratosphere. The inadequate safeguards around her shoddy purchase have contributed to a lifetime of pain for me and tens of thousands of other Lupus sufferers. The unwelcome intrusion of radiation by-product through my windows in the morning constitute a clear infringement of my property and negatively affect my ability to get restful sleep, not to mention the deleterious effect its had upon my electrical bill for the air conditioning.

We'll hit her with lawsuits so hard that she'll be left with stars spinning around her head, long before the survivors of skin cancer get started on her with criminal charges. She'll regret the day she ever looked up and said, "That's totally mine!" Being Mr. Burns is harder work than she suspected.

«« past   |   future »»