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post #344
bio: stu

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first post
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Favorite Things
· The Flaming R. Kelly
· Malfatti
· Johnny Cash
· Chuck Klosterman
· Deadwood, Seasons 1 & 2

Previous Posts
Notes on Sobriety
Republicans Are Tough Guys
Brain Fog
Clown Posse
Uber, but For Wrong Numbers
On the Greatest Political Satire of the 21st Century

Category List
February Smackdown
Literary Shit
Mad Craziness
Random 10


The King's New Clothes
We don't button our bottom suit jacket button because King Edward VII got too fat to do so. Rather than point out that the emperor actually does have new clothes, but he's too fat to fit in them, the men of the court started leaving their own bottom button unbuttoned as well. We fought a revolution to escape from these people, but we still need a sartorial revolution.

It could be worse. We could be Japanese, and beholden to the styles of their prime minister, who last year was wearing this wonderful outfit.

I assume the prime minister just wanted to simultaneously test the nation for color blindness, or, conversely, to inflict color blindness upon the entire nation.

Prince Charles, of that country our father's father's father's died face down in the mud so we wouldn't have to pay some taxes to, appeared on TV a couple of years ago with a leek in his lapel.

It looked like this.

Yes, it looks like a scallion to me, but I am assured by those who know that this is a baby leek. I was ecstatic! The time had finally come that the dotty Prince of Britain was going to start going through the outfits of the Doctors Who. He seemed to have jumped over the first four doctors, or maybe we just didn't notice, but he was hellbent on creating the looks of the subsequent doctors.

The Fifth Doctor

Sure, it's not precisely the right vegetable, but royalty can afford to splurge on leeks and shit.

I was excited! Sure, we never saw him wearing the 9 foot scarf of the Third Doctor
The Third Doctor

but maybe we'll get the awesome outfit of the Sixth Doctor.

The Sixth Doctor

Sadly, this was not to be the case. Apparently the leek is the symbol of Saint David, the Patron Saint of Wales. And Prince Charles, as the Prince of Wales, was wearing the leek in that celebration.

On the plus side, I'm happy not to have to wear a perishable accessory to my next black tie event.

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