New  »   Sunshine Jen  ·  Post-Modern Drunkard  ·  Poop Beetle  ·  Robot Journal  ·  Gator Country
Search...
4 is the magic number
 
«« past   |   future »»


comments[9]
all comments

post #7
bio: stu
perma-link
4/20/2004
02:02

wish list
archives
first post
that week
my links
XML/RSS






Favorite Things
drinking
· The Flaming R. Kelly
eating
· Malfatti
listening
· Johnny Cash
reading
· Chuck Klosterman
watching
· Deadwood, Seasons 1 & 2


Previous Posts
Notes on Sobriety
Republicans Are Tough Guys
Brain Fog
Clown Posse
Uber, but For Wrong Numbers
On the Greatest Political Satire of the 21st Century


Category List
Alcohol
CSA
Favorites
February Smackdown
Hospital
Literary Shit
Mad Craziness
Portmanteau
Random 10
Stupidity
Women


 


Bee in my Bonnet
We interrupt our normal drunken discussion for this important Public Service Announcement.

Did you know that bee-stings should be treated with a mixture of baking soda and water? It's true! Apparently an enzyme found in meat tenderizer and baking soda breaks down the protein in bee-sting venom and

I didn't know such things. Until this evening. It's amazing what you can learn while waiting for your throat to seize up and kill you--the perils of not really knowing if you're allergic to bee stings or not until it comes right down to it. Oddly enough, the fear that your throat is going to close up and kill you has the odd effect of making your throat seize up and feel like you're going to die.

Okay. That's enough with the PSA. The important thing is:

What the fuck is a yellowjacket doing underneath my computer desk waiting for me to stick my feet down there?!? And why the fuck did it choose today, of all days, to sting me on the ball of my right foot!? A day that will go down in infamy as one of the shittiest days I've had in recent memory! Why couldn't it wait for a day where I wasn't being cheated out of money by soulless corporations, or day when all my electronics weren't failing on me at once?

Sigh. Okay. Let's try a more important question. What's the proper drink to go with uncomfortable but not life-threatening injury to ball of your right foot? I'm thinking a Snakebite, but since I despise both the Yukon Jack/Permafrost version and the cider/lager version, we're just going to have to try harder. Maybe a layered shot with Jaegermeister and something citrusy, to get the yellowjacket coloring right?

Y'all think about that. I'm going to go take some more Benadryl and perhaps slather myself in more baking powder. If you don't hear from me again, we'll know that I'm actually allergic to it. And remember, there should be an open bar at my wake, two drink minimum.






«« past   |   future »»