New  »   Post-Modern Drunkard  ·  Sunshine Jen  ·  Robot Journal  ·  Poop Beetle  ·  Gator Country
2 is the magic number
«« past   |   future »»

all comments

post #100
bio: stu

first post
that week
my links

Favorite Things
· The Flaming R. Kelly
· Malfatti
· Johnny Cash
· Chuck Klosterman
· Deadwood, Seasons 1 & 2

Previous Posts
Notes on a Pandemic
Notes on Sobriety
Republicans Are Tough Guys
Brain Fog
Clown Posse
Uber, but For Wrong Numbers


Category List
February Smackdown
Literary Shit
Mad Craziness
Random 10


The Cause of--and Solution to--All Of Our Problems
Both Klutch and Honky have spoken to me of The Fear. They can undoubtedly describe it better than I can, but they both project that in the next couple of years I will start to feel it like they do--an ever-present dread and angst that follows a night of heavy drinking. Apparently, it started appearing as regularly and predictably as a hangover for them. I've never felt it, but it should apparently start hitting me at about the same time as the cirrhosis does.

I'm not looking forward to it, personally. However, this weekend was--as usual--a heavy drinking one, and even though I wound up drinking from about 7pm until 4am, I woke up at noon not only not feeling the Fear or hungover, but I felt great. I felt joyous, energized, and ready to face the day.

This is weird. I think it's entirely possible that my body has just finally given up on trying to let me know that alcohol is in fact a poison. The liver, kidneys, and bloodstream got together and said, "Well, we're going to have to live with this shit that he's putting into us, so we might as well learn to live on it," like a car modified to run off ethanol.

This is a good development. For awhile I used to drink just to make myself smarter. The alcoholic Darwinism meant that every drink would kill off all the weak brain cells that were holding me back. You're only as smart as the weakest link. According to my calculations, my IQ goes up an extra .05 point for every bottle of Wild Turkey 101 I drink. At this rate, I should be up to Lex Luthor levels in a year or two.

And then the fun will really begin.

«« past   |   future »»