1. Honesty is not always the best policy.
2. The good die young, the rich get richer, and children are life's biggest blessing.
3. Taxes are a form of discipline.
4. Driving the speed limit saves time, money and lives.
5. Being known as a "good drinker," i.e. "she holds 'er likker real good," and "that girl can drink anyone under the table," is an indication of immaturity.
6. Referring to parents as mommy and daddy should be reserved for use by actual children.
7. Broadcast your beliefs. Go ahead, be who you are.
8. Recycle, reuse, repurpose, and resource. It's smart.
9. Know thyself.
10. Having ready-made, all-occasion smiles in your personal repertoire will save your butt in awkward and uncomfortable situations. Smiles prevent many a disaster.
11. Picasso stole Cubism from Braques.
12. Exercise haunts you, whether you do it or not.
13. Books are life-long friends.
14. Music is the staff of life.
15. A superb omelette is hard to find; know how to make one.
16. Art is subjective. Duh.
17. Down comforters are like sleeping in a toasty cocoon, take up less space than bedmates do, and never snore.
18. Home is where you feel safe.
19. Taking after your dad or your mom, in some way, is inevitable.
20. Old people are not actually as sweet, kind and harmless as we once thought.
21. Animals feel pain and pleasure but they do not reason.
22. Americans do have it pretty damn good.
23. You only need money when you don't have it.
24. Your mouth is a sadistic weapon which you can refrain from using.
25. You are not a sex toy.
26. Do what makes you happy, the rest will wait.
27. Make peace with your family history.
28. Love is not the end-all, be-all in a marriage.
29. Compatibility, compromise, and compassion are the cornerstones of meaningful relationships.
30. Retirement is as retirement does.
31. Girls cannot do everything boys can; boys cannot do everything girls can.
32. Some people who think they are pretty cool now will be burning hot on Judgment Day.
33. A hug from someone who loves you is worth more than words can ever say.
34. Jobs are jobs.
35. Money IS everything, if you constantly seek material goods.
36. Who you are inside is always a bit of a secret.
37. In America, eating to excess is an acceptable pastime, but it directly contradicts the Thin Agenda.
38. Every day is another day which will have its night; learn to be at peace with the night.
39. Hope is an attitude.
40. Life is precious. You only get one.