What I've learned on my trip to Epernay → Contrary to popular belief, Champagne isn't always wet and grey in February. My three days here were sunny and relatively mild.
→ In Malaysia, there are basically three cuisines: Indian, Chinese (southern), and the local fare.
→ You can prevent an attack from 'drop bears' by putting toothpaste in your hair or vegemite. Or a fork in your hair (how you put the fork in is not clear).
→ The Aborigine people will put the old women at the front and the back of the group when crossing a river because they know that the crocodiles will either get the first person (that would be a hungry crocodile) or the last one (that would be a sneaky crocodile).
→ I'm still not sure how to use a bidet.
→ Binge drinking has been a problem in Malaysia.
→ Great white sharks pick off people fairly often on the northern beaches of Australia. They (the sharks) are there because that is where many whales come to give birth.
→ There's a snake in Australia that is super poisonous. If you get bit, they say to sit down and roll a cigarette. If you can roll the cigarette and start to smoke it, you will most likely live. Otherwise, you'll be dead.
→ At the party last night, they had some people get lost in the cellars (we had a dinner/party/disco in the cellars). Apparently it was the ol' "I got lost with this pretty girl in the cellars" story. I need to get my wife to come to Champagne with me so we can get lost in the cellars because that would be… sexy awesome wine dork fun.
→ Western Australia gets pretty hot.
→ Our colleagues in Malaysia have an in-house doctor in their office building. He prescribes medicine for you liver.
→ There's a beach in northern Australia that you want to visit because the tide goes way out during the day and you can bring in horses and play polo.
→ I don't normally consume a lot of cheese when I'm at home, but while in France I may have consumed my weight (23.4 kilostones) in cheese. There was no bad cheese this trip - even the uber-stinky ones I was devouring.
→ Oh, but I do love bread.
→ The valleys in the Champagne region with their vineyards spread out over the hills are spectacular on a sunny and clear day. Even though it is February and the vines are dormant and sad looking.
→ I love France and their food and their wine and their particular savoir-faire, but on my last day I would have killed a man for a slice of pizza from the pizza shop near my apartment.
Next stop: Scotland
P.S.
iPhone 4S camera is really my most favorite camera ever.
