Hookers, Remote Controls, and Creative Finances
All this corporate cheating and sneakiness is confusing to keep up with - especially for someone who can barely grasp the concept of balancing a checkbook. But, after reading enough about it, I think I can finally find a parallel in my life.
If I am working with my pals Eric, Reba, and Alec, I always stop at the same deli on my way to the office. I get the same thing every morning, and if you want to hear what it sounds like say the following out loud as fast as you can: "Blueberry bagel with butter and iced french vanilla with half and half"
(ok, don't make fun of my blueberry bagels - I realize that there are purists who say blueberry bagels are some sort of food gentrification or worse. Whatever.)
My total is $3.21
They would owe me 79cents if I gave them three dollars, but what they do instead is give me 80 cents. If I think of this in an Enron way, I think I can now count that one penny as profit / money coming in. If I kept this up for 52 weeks, they will give me an annual profit of $2.60.
Does this make sense?
Note: they also do the opposite if my change is one penny, they just don't give it to me.
This weekend, we finally tried the Navy Yard route between the Brooklyn Bridge and Williamsburg. Mrs. Robot had this creepy ass experience once in the Navy Yard when she was working on a movie or documentary or something. While waiting outside the studio, she was harassed by a non-english speaking guy who thought she was a hooker.
So, I didn't like the Navy Yard.
But it was a fine ride and was pretty quick.
We also rode across the Williamsburg bridge, which is kind of crappy compared to the Brooklyn and Manhattan bridges.
Just like my father
With the remote control. I zoom around the dial. The only show that we actually think about watching and plan on it is a little comedy show that we call, "The Simpsons". Last night during a commercial break, I was zooming around the channels and came across the Little League World Series, which at first is puzzling because you think you are watching normal professional baseball, but then you realize that everyone is so much shorter.
This morning, I read that the americans beat the japanese team and was looking at the pictures, and after getting past the fact that the americans are some chunky kids, I noticed that the japanese team's jerseys said "Asia" where as the americans had something like "great lakes" on it.
What is up with that?
Like some dumb american shirt manufacturer was like, "well, we don't really which country they are from - but it's in asia"
I didn't know that there were some states that allowed you to own the beach property in front of your beach house - allowing you to even put up a fence that runs down the beach into the water.
I need a beach house, btw.
i need a beach house too.
Blueberry bagel, nothing. I'm going to make fun of you about the iced french vanilla. This from a guy who mocks me for asking for salad dressing on the side?
I pay $6.00 for a lunch that cost's $6.04 EVERY SINGLE DAY. I'm making a killing.